Oh Jenny, I love having you back! These last couple of posts illustrate my feelings as well.
I believe that my H thinks that his libido is normal also. He TELLS me that he is LD but I think, in his mind, there are silent addendums to that statement: for the duration of the time our kids live at home; for the duration of the time that my job is stressful, etc.
I hear you on the excuse thing. My husband does not like to hear that I perceive his perfectly valid reasons as 'excuses'. I don't think that he can conceive of a way of life in which everyday stresses do not deter your libido. So, to him, this is a legitimate and valid thing and I am invalidating his experience by calling it an excuse. He tends to think that I operate in the same way he does but that I have less stress, or a higher tolerance of the kids. Nothing could be further from the truth! I haven't figured out a way to validate that he experiences these reasons as so overwhelming that it eradicates his desire, while insisting that it not be a hindrance to hot monkey sex in the future.
The schedule thing. I have been dragging my feet on this. I think that removing the Stigma of Initiation will do wonders for my relationship, but I have no faith that my spouse will stick with it. He is willing to do what he does now (which is a lot) but that sounds too demanding to him. Rather than force him to try it, and watch him fail, I have effectively begun dragging my feet.
Last night, I suggested a form of a schedule to him: Every other day. He blew me off. Whatever, I'm persistent if nothing else.
Btw, I loved your last line and plan on shamelessly ripping it off at my earliest possible convenience.
