Back to Square 2

[MJontheMend]

I realize that I probably mis-stated my case when I implied that most men have and %80 desire to be the "top" and a %20 desire to be the "bottom". I have no idea what the true proportion in an average man might be. I didn't mean anything specific in terms of what happens in bed when I used the terms "top" and "bottom". I was thinking in terms of a psychological state of mind. The desire or urge to be driving the action forward as "top" and the desire or longing to be driven forward in the action as "bottom". Of course, literally being on top during intercourse does usually put you in the natural position of being the "top", but not necessarily. I can easily imagine a scenario in which I was on top physically but not psychologically. For instance, if my H was moving my hips with his hands and talking "dirty" to me.

I would say my H likes to be the "top" just as much as the average guy, just not as frequently. The fact that I want sex more frequently than he does throws off this sexual dynamic for him too. If he's not feeling horny enough to be the "top", he might decide that he's horny enough to be the "bottom" if I'm willing to accept responsibility for the sexual encounter and be the "top". However, too much of being the "bottom" and relying on my horniness starts to make him feel uncomfortably unmanly, since he is in some sense being f*cked by his wife. And as I said, I like being the "top" sometimes, but not most of the time.

What I should have said instead of saying that NOPkins was more successful because he was more horny than me, was that he is more successful than me because it's easier to get your dance partner out on the floor if you want to lead. Of course, I am working under the assumption that NOPkins is a HDM with a relatively low level of "bottom" desire. By this I mean he doesn't have a fantasy life that frequently features dominant women or he is content to leave such desires in the realm of fantasy. Heterosexual women who are naturally HD and "top" oriented are rare. Heterosexual men who have the misfortune to be predominantly "bottom" oriented generally have to go without. I am forcing NOPkins to concede my argument on some level because he admitted in a previous post that it would take mega-mega-mojo for a woman to use a "strap-on" and this is the most obvious literal example of a woman being a "top".(I feel the need to repeat here that my H is only as "bottom" oriented as the average guy. He is not interested in strap-on play, though he does appreciate the occasional "command" .