I definitely think there is some merit to this idea, Corri.
However, it aint all of the picture. I have been HD as far as I can remember and in EVERY relationship I've ever had, not just this one. When H was still very interested in sex, there was no corresponding dropoff in my libido. It remained strong as ever and we just rocked the house more frequently, lol.
I have always remembered feeling physically horny. My sex drive seems to have been bodily-based my whole life. Now that I am married and in the most intimate R I've ever had, I can tell you that the line between I love him and I want him is often blurred--to the point that I couldn't tell you which came first. So I'm not going to say that my horniness never comes from my mind--of course it does. But give me 3 days without sex and I get irritable. This is not because I am not getting what I want; it's because my body is wanting and needing release.
Regarding this:
Quote: If this were a truly physical drive for you, you could take care of things yourself to take the edge off.
We are Catholic and do not masturbate; it is against our religion. So the fact that I am dependent on him for sexual release, quite literally, creates a "I am furious when he holds out" dynamic that I am quite aware of. Not really sure what to do about that. As whacko as it may sound to others, this is truly what we believe and what we have decided to live. Corri, it is EASY for him. He has said those words. He doesn't ever have the urge to do this. (of course not! I overload his sexual desire, he's workin on, like, negative 4 on the desire scale) However, it is very difficult for me--it is a struggle to not do this, a mighty one. He has expressed sympathy and wants me to come to him rather than be tempted, but when the rubber hits the road he is less than cooperative.
Butttttt, even having said all that, there is most certainly an element of truth to what you said. I want it cause I can't have it. Sure. We are all built that way, as you said. If he suddenly turned into a horndog, well first of all we'd have a lot more free and easy sex, but secondly I would probably guess that my intense horniness would die down and be left with a more normal feeling--one that does not take up so much mental space. FOR SURE you are correct about that.
If you haven't noticed, I like to be in control and I don't like to be told No. Now, in my marriage, I am NOT in control of many many things, not just the sex, and that is the God's honest truth. But I do like it. And I have a hard time accepting no on anything but I do. Or I find a way to work around it. My H is amazed at me and once called me a freight train--when I get an idea into my head, I will see it through, even if the odds are against me. Last summer, I wanted to go away on a weekend trip with him but we had no $$. I was bummed for a while, then decided to look at my house, objectively, and see if there was anything that could be of worth to anyone else. The only thing I could come up with was 2 sets of Ralph Lauren drapes in my bedroom. I took them down, sold them on Ebay for 150 bucks, and had my weekend away. H never even noticed the white blinds I installed instead, lol. So does that give you an additional peek into my sicko mind?!
