Quote: I am merely pointing out that there is an added dimension to a SSM when the wife is HD.
Because we, as women, are brought up to believe one thing and then that turns out to be untrue in our personal relationship. I cannot emphasize enough how much of a mindf*ck this is. This element is not present in an SSM where the male is the HD partner.
You haven't talked to my H, then. He has a book of 'should be's' about as big as yours.
Quote: So in that sense it most certainly IS a special circumstance. Not that it makes any difference in the long run, or in how you go about solving the problem, just that it takes a whole other set of mental attributes to deal with this other dimension.
I don't know about this. I think all you are confronting here is an illusion, nothing more. I was brought up to believe I needed to look like the women in the Victoria Secret ads... that that was what a woman was supposed to look like, dress like, act like, be like... and that I should always, always, always want SEX... because that's the American myth, right? Can you imagine the mental agony I endured because I 'wasn't' all that? Talk about your 'different set of mental attributes.'
Now... I know you are just blowing off your frustration, but I do think there is a grain of truth in your rantings. You're pissed because your H doesn't fit the great American myth, or model of what a red-blooded American male is supposed to be. 'Cause if he were, then there'd be no problem, right?
It isn't the issue. I think you and your H are in the middle of a full-blown power play... on a collosal passive scale. It isn't a physical struggle, but mental warfare the two of you are engaged in...
... cogs are still turning, and I have to take my kid to trombone lessons. More later.
