Nopkins - when you reached the end of your rope did you let go or did you tie a knot and hang on? What I mean is. Did you mentally let go and take advantage of the seesaw effect or did you really dig in to your marriage as a project? I find myself alternating between those approaches and I can't always figure out what causes the progress or the regressions --------------
I dug in when I realized that there was nothing left to hang on to. The marriage was, in its then current form, dead.
Ultimately, that basic change in attitude is what allowed me to begin to see my very own contribution to the demise of the marriage.
Facing the truth that WE were in trouble, is what motivated both of us to work toward repair.
This is why the onset of recovery can occur only when BOTH SPOUSES realize that there is a problem. That requires communication. As we have all discovered, communication is the most difficult aspect of any relationship.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
