JJ worte: -------------- I think NOPkins was HD enough to get the relationship over the "hump" that I can't get over in my relationship. I'm not HD enough to deal with my H showing up with no sign of arousal for scheduled sex and based on recent experience. --------------
Hi, Jenny!
I don't think that my high drive had any real bearing on my persistence. When I truly got to the end of my 'rope', I decided that it was only right that I give my dear wife a "last chance" before I bolted for greener pastures.
Funny how I didn't have the guts or integrity to tell her about the decision I had made (to divorce her if she didn't straighten up). What is really amazing is that she stepped up to the challenge, even though I was sure that I had played no major role in the state of our relationship.
I do stick to projects that I decide to do, very well. In all honesty, I saw the repair of our sexual relationship as a project. Trying to figure out how to do that is the analytical side of the engineer in me.
You can't give attribution to a sex-drive-level as a relational tool, at least in my case. It could be fun if such a thing were possible, but I don't think that it is.
Don't get me wrong. Frustration is often a good motivator, but understanding the causality/effect relationship of the underlying issue is the real difficulty. The perceived, obvious fix for a relational issue, often times isn't the fix at all.
It is true that having more sex is part of the goal, but having more sex with your spouse because THEY WANT TO is the real treasure to be sought.
Fortunately, having sex frequently is a good way to force a couple to face the underlying causes of the issues in their relationship.
What I think that you need to do, Jenny, is tell your husband why you are upset and find out why he feels that he is a piece of meat. I certainly would never want MrsNOP to feel that way. I know for a fact that she doesn't. How would I know that?
I think you are doing extremely well with your hubby.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
