It does not crush me in the sense that I am weeping uncontrollably for days. More of the feeling that, as I'm standing there quite literally naked, I am humiliated that I'm not having the intended effect. I am crushed at that moment. Afterwards, it usually progresses to being pissed off and then acceptance of what IS. I don't wake up the next day hating myself or thinking that I am an ugly blob but at the moment of...not necessarily rejection...but more like a firecracker that ends up being a dud, I feel like poop.
NOP, Is the post you are referring to the Turning Crank one? I'm not sure which one you meant..?
And I get what you are saying about control and I totally agree that it is not gender-specific. Only that there is a difference between LDwives and LDhusbands. Simply because there is a difference between men and women. LD people do have many of the same reactions (scarily similar, in fact!) but there are certain things about each situation that make it uniquely difficult to deal with. For the wives, we have to deal with the knowledge that all the OTHER husbands out there would kill or die to get hold of us, and the husbands have to deal with the fact that society supports the wives' notion that sex is something for young people and the Tired Wife is justified in withholding.
That's all I was trying to say.
Jenny summed it up much better than I did. That the LD man has a very difficult time admitting that he is LD and taking the proper responsibility for that. The wives at least admit it and are up front about what they will or will not do about it. Too many times the husbands are incommunicado.
