Quote: Actually, that's not how it worked with us. As we progressed on schedule and my heart wasn't exactly in it, he realized that going through the sexual motions wasn't what he wanted. His desire was to share intimacy with me. And he let me know that without anger. So, there were times when he skipped the sex, while letting me know why.
This is interesting. The pragmatic side of me just had a good thought. Maybe scheduled sex would work for us if we scheduled it more often than I think I want it. That way I wouldn't be disappointed if my H showed up with no desire on Wednesday if I didn't have to wait until Saturday for another opportunity. Maybe I should suggest that we consider having sex every day at a certain time. That way we could both be more relaxed if it didn't happen because we would be expecting to not be in the mood that often. How do you and NOP have a daily schedule if nobody is taking responsibility for initiating? Is it like a household where the first one who notices that the sink is full of dishes takes care of it?
Though my posts today are coming from my cynical side, I understand what you are saying about intimacy. The thing that is hard for me to remember is that intimacy isn't always pretty. My relationship would be "prettier" if I could just repress my libido and cuddle with Mr. Cuddles, but it is more intimate if I reveal my libido to him in all of its "looking for a piece of meat" sluttyness. I guess I'm still afraid of Virginia Woolf and maybe I've only made my way from the house made of bricks to the house made of straw. It's just damn scarey to be a little HD piggy out in the cold all unrepressed and exposed, especially when you see the big bad wolf every other time you look in the mirror.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
