Quote: I think it is even more basic than that. I think NOPkins was HD enough to get the relationship over the "hump" that I can't get over in my relationship.
Actually, that's not how it worked with us. As we progressed on schedule and my heart wasn't exactly in it, he realized that going through the sexual motions wasn't what he wanted. His desire was to share intimacy with me. And he let me know that without anger. So, there were times when he skipped the sex, while letting me know why.
I don't think drives, whether low or high, are ultimately the issue. How you respond, treat, and deal with each other is.
Because how we care for each other hasn't anything really to do with our differing drives. It may be simplistic or it may be a personality trait, but being glibly hurtful or intentionally cruel to someone is anathema to me. That contributed toward our progress as well.
While sex may the the point of the fight, it is HOW the fight is handled by both parties that determines whether or not there will be ongoing success. NOP's high drive wasn't some magical beacon that lead us through the darkness. It was his committment to doing all within his power to make our marriage work and be fulfilling to us both. It wasn't my gender that made it easier, it was my committment to do all within my power to make our marriage work and be fulfilling to us both.
Where our deepest pain resides, is where we have expressed our heart to our spouse and it seems that they treat it lightly. Without care. Without importance.
There is no amount of sexual drive in the world, that will get you past that hump.
