Quote:

Men who do not like to be told what to do, or controlled.



I agree that gender differences exist, but that control thing often cuts across those lines. Ms. HD, for instance. The women might be more given toward the martyr route of resistance, but I don't take to kindly to being pushed/controlled/cajoled either.

I *do* recognize that men have to deal with that cultural expectation of being the initiator, strong, manly, turgid . And then women have the flip side of that where they're supposed to be the warm, loving, affectionate one.

I see some variations, but there are all these common threads that run between the ssm posts. The LD wives manage to express their resistance by similar actions/attitudes as do the LD husbands - withholding affection, sighing, doing that weird physical proximity thing (forcefields UP!), doing it for England and making d*mn sure the spouse knows, that well-timed snarky comment, etc.

I've been dipping into the archives and the LD wives managed to give their hubbies the same sort of grief several of the HD wives have received. And it was two steps forward with one step back, and sometimes a totally spectacular tumble all the way back down the hill.

While I bow my head before JJ's analogy prowess, our relationships can be compared to two people in a row boat. Both of you *have* to be rowing. When you look up and notice that you've been by this bush before, then it's a pretty good indication that your spouse ain't rowing with you.

"Look a$$hole, we both have to row the boat MOST of the time" would probably be considered a bit over the top, I guess.

But eventually, I think that is what it takes. That the recalcitrant spouse gets on board, stops the self-centered agressive crap, and grows up a bit. As evidenced by addressing issues in a mature fashion rather than making quickie, semi-obtuse comments in passing that send the spouse off into confusion.

MrsNOP - let me know if I start going over the top, I'm beginning to feel like a streetcorner preacher...