Quote: I am in your same boat re: driving the encounter. It is my energy that drives the entire thing. Sometimes this burden is too much for me. I want sex, but I don't know if I want it at that price.
This describes EXACTLY where I am. I realized that I was the one initiating EVERY SINGLE DAMNED time. And I decided that it wasn't worth it. One day I asked, "if I didn't initiate it, do you suppose we'd have sex again before the year ends?" (He did not seem to think this was a good question to ask)
So, I decided to just stop, and see what happened. After some days and nights past, with no action, I got a little testy. Then I thought it through and decided that if it was always my job/my initiative that it must be way more important to me than to him. And then decided that did not work for me, and that it was going to be okay to be celibate for a while.
It does not work for me. It works so poorly that it changes me from HD to celibate.
