Quote: Describe an average day in your wife's life, from getting up to going to bed.
1) Get up at 6:15 to shower, get redy for work, make sure the 3 boys get ready for school, everybody eats cereal. Boys are 14, 12, and 8. 2) Drop youngest at his ride, take oldest to HS, middle son goes to school with wife (wife is teacher). 3) She teaches middle school all day. Tough job to be around 6-8th graders for 7 hours a day. 4) She gets home around 4PM. She has many numerous afternoon activities: Den Meetings, Referees Volleyball, coaches track in the spring, runs the clock for basketball games. She also likes to take walks whenever she can fit them in. 5) Take care of the house. 6) Cook dinner. 7) After Dinner, take kids to functions. Grade Papers sometimes. Watch TV with the family. Play games sometimes. 8) Go to bed around 10:30. 9) On weekends in the spring and fall, go to 3-5 soccer games. 10) During the summertime, she and the kids have off, so they do things during the day. Kids stay up till 10 or so, except her and the oldest son stay up till 2 am watching TV or movies, they are real night owls.
Quote: Describe an average day in your life, same parameters.
1) Get up at 5:45 to get ready for work. Go to work at 6:30 AM. 2) Work until 3PM and then go pick up youngest from school. 3) 3:30 make sure kids practice the Piano, every Tuesday run them to lessons. 4) Work around house, clean kitchen, run errands. 5) Drive kids to practices for soccer. I am assistant coach on 2 of their teams. 6) Currently I am taking youngest to basketball practice twice a week with games on saturdays. 7) Coach Soccer on Satrudays during season. 8) Sometimes, I prepare dinner, especially if the wife has left notes. 9) Usually clean up after dinner. 10) 2-3 nights a week I go to work out at the gym. 11) Sometimes I have to go back into work. 12) Work at home sometimes. 13) Try to always help with putting kids to bed, the younger ones like to have us lay with them for awhile.
Quote: Then describe what you would like your day to actually be.
This is the ideal day for me:
1) Wake up and cuddle with the wife for awhile. Maybe even ML. Then get ready for work. 2) Kiss the wife good-bye. She does not like to kiss me, and when I try, she often turns her cheek to me. So I no longer even try. 3) Goto work. 4) Pick up kids after school. 5) Kiss the wife and hug when we get home. Again, she does NOT want to do this. 6) Still have to do all the things for the kids, take care of the house, cook dinner, etc.. 7) Flirting and playful touching during the afternoon and evening. 8) When we relax in front of the TV, do some cuddling. Wife hates to cuddle. 9) Bedtime. I want my origianl wife back. I want the women that used to LOVE to sleep naked. I want to ML on most nights. Some nights I want long drawn out LM sessions. I want experimentation. I want Cuddling, Kissing, Oral, Caressing. I want somenone that WANTS to enjoy my body, completely. I want the sexual person I married back. 10) And in all of the cuddling and sex, I want some conversation, some meeting of the minds. I want to be best friends. She told me once that she thought only Weird marriages are best friends.
Obviously, we woork our butts off, between work, 3 kids, sports, the house, and other interests. But it is the activities that my wife loves. This helps to let her avoid physical touching, which she is apparently uncomfortable with now. Partly do to a poor relationship, but also do to low self esteem. She hates her body and does not feel very feminine. The throw in the beginning of menopause and you have a great mix. She basically can not "feel" sexy, she can not get arroused without ME providing all the arrousal. Basically, she is looking to be busy so she can either stay up late, or come to bed in a very tired mode. I believe that one relationship expert calls these "Outs", things that people use to avoid intimacy with their spouse. For LD women, they often find things that "just" have to be done right around bedtime. That is alot to chew on.
