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Is this a common trait, that HD's focus on their spouse and LD's focus on other things?
YES.

Am I wrong to focus on my spouse?

No, but there is a difference between focusing on your spouse and having your spouse be the primary focus.

Does this make me "needy" in her eyes?

It very well may be.

Is it possible to have a great marriage and NOT put our spouses at the top of the list?




YES! infact your spouse shouldn't be at the top of the list YOU should be at the top.

LL