good attitude hunter. DB-ing does not mean being a doormat either. Its great that you truly do want to forgive and understand. Holding grudges takes waaaaay more effort than forgiving, and the pain associated with the hurt does fade when forgiveness enters the picture. BUT, she cannot have a license to cheat whenever. If she does want you to understand, let her explain how she feel she got to this crossroads in her life that made her do this. Then work on that. Butshe has got to know if she does want it to work, she has to put in equal effort. You may have to give more at first , but at a certain point it has to be reciprocated, or else you feel like a doormat. And if its cheating while seperated, well I am learning that apparently it is not. A lawyer told me that depending on the state you live in, sex while seperated is allowable. And apparently spousal stupidity is allowed in all states, otherwise we would not all need to be here hoping they wake up.
