You have some choices to make for yourself here. Can I forgive my W for what has occured? Can I forgive myself for my role in the decline of our M? What is my limit?
When you next have contact with W, say simply to her that you forgive her for all that has and is happening. Tell her that you are not angry, you are not judging her and no blame will be laid. Let her know that after reflection, you are working on forgiving yourself for your role in this. Let her know you will be there if she needs to talk as a friend.
Start to love her unconditionally. What this means is, no matter where she is or what she is doing you love her regardless. I know I've had to let go of a lot of selfish feeling to continue to work on my sitch.
Lastly, I would continue to work on the things I've identified through reflection which will make me a better person. Make these changes stick. She will see them. Then, determine your bounderies. How long and through what circumstances can I continue to work on this R and feel good about myself.
ShawnL
So if you're tired of that same old story, turn some pages. I'll be ready when you are able, to roll with the changes. - REO Speedwagon
