After reading your posts it seems very likely that your wife is having an affair. What you posted about her renewing her lease is also a good indication that she is probably wanting to continue her life style. You mentioned something about being the "back burner" plan and I think you are completely right about this one. If I was you (and I am not) I would working on doing my own thing and get going on improving my own situation. I bet you could find someone who cares about you for who you are and is not keeping you in their back pocket as some kind of backup incase everything else fails. Going through life being the reserve parachute is not going to be any fun and that can lead to all kinds of problems in and of itself for you. So try going dark or doing a 180 (not totally familiar with these terms that people use on the boards but they make sense). Also giving her a pass on the affair thing may just give her license to do it again and again and again.
