Honeypot?

[MJontheMend]

I didn't really take NOP that way either. I'm just sort of cheating by using the quote about getting bored after 40x to argue in an absurd fashion against his claim that HD/HD wouldn't work.

Like you, I don't have enough "evidence" from my own experience to figure out the truth of the matter but based on the experience of my 38 year old HD sister, the "getting bored after 40x" and dumping the HD woman is what HD men do in their youth. Everybody wants to settle down into a good relationship eventually no matter what their drive might be. My sister avoids casual relationships with 40-something men because she doesn't want to have to hurt them if she isn't serious, not because she's afraid they'll "use" her for sex and then discard her like the more jerky ones did in her 20s.

But I can't talk much because I don't offer my H animal sex every time either. My own natural preference for that would be, say, 1 time out of 10. The rest of the time I am content with fast-paced-but-predictable sex. And a session of making lurrrv every once in a while.

That sounds about right for me too. I can only get revved up to the transcendent/wall socket sex level about
1/20 of the time. I think variety in tone and intensity is much more important than variety in position or "props" for maintaining interest. For instance, you can take the plain old vanilla missionary position and adjust the tempo to anything from a soulful slow ride to a frenzied f*ck fest. Add some eye contact to make it more "lovey" or add some choices verbs and make it more "nasty". After all, sometimes the costume shop is all sold out on French Maid with Garters and the moon isn't full and the wind isn't high and you're not about to ovulate etc. I know I'm digressing here but once again the thought occurs to me that the main reason it is depressing that my H doesn't find me desirable is that IMO the main thing that should make me desirable is the sexy way my brain works, not the ratio of my boobs to my waist etc. He is rejecting a very large part of what makes me the unique person that I am by rejecting my sexuality. It's as though I was an amateur artist and he wasn't interested enough to take the time to look at my work because he was too busy watching Ted Koppel.