Honeypot, you just described my situation. How I WAS coping was to let her come get me for ML, then it was almost always good. She was cleary ready and it was good for both of us. The downside was, I could not initiate on my schedule, or get anything other than the usual routine. And it was like 2-3 times a month. The biggest problem was I had to put my desire somewhere else, which meant not being around her most of the time esp. at bedtime. After 3 months of spending more time with her in general, and nightly obligation-free massages, I am getting the same number of good sessions but a lot more sh*tty ones. And I am kind of pissing her off cutting into her sleep. Nothing has fundementally changed. Frustrating. To your point, I'm not sure if they will ever "want it" the way we want it, it seems to be more of a tension reliever rather than genuine LM. Having to chill really blows, doesn't it? I am struggling with the disappointment and anger, it takes a lot of discipline to keep a positive attitude and not let it poison the next day.
