I'm not sure what to say. My thought would be for now to take the sexual lead role to keep the ball rolling but continue to GENTLY push him out of his comfort zone. Talk to him a lot about his feelings, especially towards sex, initiating etc. Try to feel what he is feeling. The only way you can do that is for both of you to open up and talk about your feelings (and believe me sister, that can be the hardest thing in the world). I think if you can each share your feeling in a way that the other feels it, you'll take a big step in closing that gulf. yes, I agree, you can't back off stopping completely...it is too easy to slip back into your old patterns that way. At the same time, you can't be an unfeeling B***h about it either...You both need to feel what the other is feeling. Set your boundary and keep him from slipping back across it, but don't push it further out until he becomes more comfortable with it. Again, I think it really helps if you both can feel what the other is feeling. It develops understanding and helps to provide self motivation to for both of you to stray out of your comfort zones so that you can meet in the middle.
--GGB, who'd much rather W came into his comfort zone but realizes that in order for it to work we both need to step out of our zones and meet half way. For now, that means continuing to be the lead for me, and for forcing herself into desire for her.
