HP, Hi there! I was checking in to see how you (and others) were faring. Looks like you've made progress which has only served to whet your appetite. I know exactly what you are talking about as far as the desire thing. W rarely has a sexual thought, and is not comfortable doing anything about it when she does (until we started dialoging, I was convinced she didn't even have sexual thoughts). It is a bit frustrating feeling that lack of sexual desire, and it can become consuming if you dwell on it. Instead, I have been taking note of the extraordinary effort W has been putting into 'forcing some desire' and forcing herself to initiate even when there isn't really any desire there. Those acts are SOOOO far out of her comfort zone that they alone are incredible acts of love. The hardest part for me is making the adjustment to recognize those efforts as desire (OK, so it isn't the type of desire we think we are craving), and accepting that as the loving gesture it is. It sounds to me like your H is expending the same sort of effort. Try to recognize it as his way of expressing his desire for you (Ok,OK, it isn't really sexual desire, but....). As NOP said, I think as our S's spend more time in that uncomfortable zone, they will start becoming more comfortable there and things will improve. Like you, I am in a much better place than when I started this journey. Not the place I thought it would lead, but it is better and the journey is continuing (I've also realized that the journey has no end: it must continue indefinitely to keep the relationship alive). HP, I don't think you need to fear falling out of love with H. You need to fear missing the love he has for you because you are looking for the wrong signs. BTW, I can't even imagine my W doing MrsNOP's butt wiggle thing (if she did, I doubt I could even get my pants off fast enough). Right now we are just working on the hugs and kisses part. HP, it sounds like you are on the right track, but going at it so intensely that you are missing the scenery along the way. Take it easy girl! Look at the love he is showing. If NOPs are right (and I have to believe them), this is the first step along the way and greater things are coming. For now, take pleasure in the effort H is taking to step out of his comfort zone. Now, if I could just follow my own advice!
