I also am discouraged by the W's lack of desire and am contemplating just accepting the way it is rather than try to change her. Is pushing a change like this too much to ask?
I think the gist of the idea is not to "change" the spouse, but to change yourself, thereby forcing the spouse to change with you. There are two sides to every relationship and we all have to "own" our own part in a marriage that is no longer physical. I'm sure others will chime in here.
