Friday night was good; had an outing with my D5 alone and we had SO much fun. I never get to spend time with just her alone and she enjoyed it so much that I'm going to take her out again next weekend, perhaps to see Polar Express? Any opinions on that? I am very picky about what my kids watch and wasn't sure how appropriate it was. To give an example, I did not let them watch Shrek 2 b/c I thought the first one had some questionable things in it.
No sex that evening but H mentioned how much he appreciates me backing off and being "forgiving".
Saturday was a busy day (2 birthday parties, ugh, no good for a dieting mama). Saturday night we managed to get the kids in bed early and had some great cuddle time, talking about our lives together, etc. Naturally, we made love but H didn't finish b/c he got overheated. I promised I would make it up to him the next day.
Sunday: So-so day. H and I got into two arguments about a MINOR issue that we can't seem to resolve and it always turns into a battle. Now this is so minor that I won't bore you with details but suffice it to say that H said several times, You want to control me! grrrrrrrrrrrr Now, when we fight it always turns into laughs and it did, both times. But it takes its toll on me nonetheless. When we got into bed, H took my hand and placed it on himself; he was already hard. I stroked him for a while and then he asked if I wanted him to do it to me. He never did start touching me, but instead initiated a conversation about something else (so trivial I can't even remember what it was) then started making noises about going to sleep! I said, So we are NOT making love tonight then? He kindof groaned, cause he knew an argument was coming, and began making excuses about being tired and having to get up for work the next day, etc.
I was really irritated by that whole scene.
Then he starts telling me how good I'm looking lately!
I was so disgusted by everything that I just said good night. He asked if I was upset (I was realllllly HOM at that point) and I said, Well yes I am. You know me well enough to know that if you pull a stunt like what you just did that I will be upset. So let's not act like this is all a surprise to you.
He agreed and kept repeating that he wished I wasn't upset. I told him that I would appreciate it if he would stop making an issue of it--obviously he doesn't care if I get upset or not. He argued with that and I said, "H, look, you can't be a lazy lover AND say that you care about me being upset. You can't have it both ways. Your actions indicate to me that you do not care if I am upset or not." He said that I was right.
Then he starts touching me and I asked him several times to stop. I suppose he thought it was one of those Fake Stop kinda moves cause he never did. We ended up having sex but it was nothing more than f*cking..a release of a physical buildup. I told him that, afterwards. I couldn't help it, I still felt so pissy about everything.
Here is the funny thing (or maybe not so funny): Saturday I began feeling my libido returning. I felt little sexual flashes here and there. Sunday I actually felt horny, which was something I hadn't felt in a week or more. It wasn't a constant barrage, like it usually is, but it would appear and be very strong and then go away. In short, I could feel my body coming back to its more normal state. My actions were, no doubt, giving this away. I found myself going for hugs more...looking for him in our house to find him..wanting to be physically near him..trying to extend hugs...ETC. You all know the drill. I know he picked up on it b/c at one point he looked me right in the eye and said, Get back! Niiiiiiiiiice.
And, for the record, I am NOT the type of person who crowds his personal space. As I've said, I have to keep x's and o's on my list of goals because I don't give them to him enough, according to him.
Anyway, the whole day was a bust. The arguing, the failed sex attempt, my obvious horniness vs. his obvious need to get away from me...blech.
You know what he was most distressed about? The fact that I would not be "happy and forgiving" anymore. He felt like he blew his chance with the Nice Honeypot and was distressed over THAT. Not over the fact that he pulled some bologna tease move and upset me, but over the fact that he would now have to deal with the consequence of that decision. He even said, I know it sounds self centered but I liked it better when you acted like that last week. uh, yeah, it does sound selfish!
I never did fess up that the reason I was so calm was because my body was chillin out big time. At any rate, I have made plans for the day and am NOT going to sit around and stew.
Life as usual in the Honey House, folks! Ups and downs galore. Overall though, I am in a fine mood today. I think I will limit contact with my H, though, because he may say or do something to jeopardize my mood, lol.
