Nothing much to report. Had a nice night with H. Encouraged him to watch tv again, but got on his nerves a little tiny bit with my presence. It is a fine line, I will learn his preferences as I go along, I suppose. It would help if he were not passive aggressive and could just tell me what he wants and likes but oh well, I'm clever enough to figure it out or deduce from his irritation what I need to do, lol.
No sex but lots of nice cuddling. There is a seed of resentment trying to sow itself in my head so I hope that this evening goes well. It has been weeks since my H has initiated a sexual encounter just cause he wanted to and not out of fear that it had "been too long" or as a kiss and make up tactic. We ML Monday night but he had fallen asleep and woke up about 20 minutes later and initiated while still asleep. I asked if he was having a sexy dream and he said no but he didn't know where it was coming from nonetheless! I love ML to him, regardless of the "why" but it sure would be nice to know that he is actually wanting to ML to ME and not because his body physically needs it or he is trying to stave off a fight.
To that end, I will do my best to set a sexy mood tonight and keep the resentment at bay. I need him to initiate and be involved and present and eager to be with ME. I realize I am setting myself up but what else should I do?
