First of all, my kids are sick and I have been feeling...not sick necessarily..but a little under the weather, tired and not myself. I have also had little desire for sex the last 2 days or so. So it has been easy for me to be cheerful to H, in light of the fact that we have not ML since last week. I am grateful for this temporary loss of libido. I want more than anything to be accepting of my H and loving towards him, no matter what. I have a hard time with this when my body is freakin out. I do not mbate and am completely at his mercy for sexual release, as I've stated here many times. This is both good and bad!
At any rate, we had an excellent night and at the end of it we headed off to bed. I wanted to read some of my library books (Harry, I got a book about holiday customs and it turns out it was mostly Hanukkah celebration ideas and it was really fascinating to learn how different families celebrated this holiday) so I read in bed. He eventually fell asleep but not before mumbling something about he was about to fall asleep and he wanted to 'warn' me. (I felt mildly chagrined at this comment in my lower-libido'd state) I read for about 15 minutes and then laid down to sleep. H briefly stirred and mumbled something about sex and how it was different that I wasn't after him! Or something to that effect..he was sound asleep and I could barely hear him. Next thing I know he is initiating!
Now, you could make the argument that, when left alone, he is able to discover his own horniness or something like that. Yeah, maybe. I actually think, though, that it is the seesaw thing coming into play. He sensed that I didn't want anything from him, which for some reason (??) makes him pursue me. As usual my body sprang into life the minute he touched me, so that is not a concern.
It was very enjoyable and me being a bit standoffish seems to have a good effect on my love life.
If I were to do this permanently, now, it would cease to have that effect, but I need to remember that it does shake things up once in a while...makes me more interesting and not so predictable. And I say that not in a "I need to finagle more sex outta him" but in the sense that I am obligated to stay interesting to him, kwim? I could become a boring old crone but why do that. I absolutely love it when H surprised me with a comment or action that is out of his usual routine. I'm sure he feels the same way. Nothing drastic, mind, just enough to keep him on his toes every once in a while.
Now if my body would only cooperate more often in order to make me able to pull off the sexual mystery, it'd be great! I'm an open book when it comes to that...predictable as Big Ben.
