Here's that old friend of my sexual R, Performance Anxiety, making an appearance today.
I wrote H an email and he responded back, thanking me for my cheerfulness in spite of the fact that he "failed me" this weekend. Then he said that I confuse him b/c I am upbeat even though we did not ML.
I don't know how to convey to him that it really isn't the actual sex that makes me feel loved--it is the desire. If he wants to but just can't make it happen for one reason or another, I'm fine. I can drum up compassion with every cell in my body. Actually I don't even have to drum anything up--I'm on his side and in complete understanding. When there is no desire AND no action, then I am not on his side, nor do I understand his behavior. I have told him this in these words and yet, for him, it always comes back to the act and whether it happened or not and whether big momma got her O.
That is SO not what it's about for me!
Well, that's not entirely true, cause of course that is a big part of it.........but you know what I mean.
