He is having an affair. He wants to have his needs met by the other woman AND YOU. He wants to not feel guilty about using either one of you.
He is using you. He is using her. It is ALL about him.
What should you do? Stop having sex with your husband. Stop noticing cute guys for right now. SET SOME HARD BOUNDARIES with your wayward husband.
I know that your needs are not being met right now, but you will have to put them on the 'back burner' for right now.
What you need to do is to make a plan with a very clear path for yourself.
Again, you must ignore 'signs' [friendly, cuddles, affection, stand-offish, etc] from your wayward husband. Every time he makes love or cuddles then rejects you he is in effect saying - "I AM USING YOU". Stop letting him use you. Set boundaries. Stop trying to read his self serving moods. You are wasting your time and emotion.
You can, of course, choose to stick your head in the sand. Just understand that is a choice, and you are effectively choosing to let your marriage end.
Your husband is having an affair. Face the truth head on and decide what you want to do about it.
If you want to know the truth about your husband, then snoop, because he DOES obviously have something to hide.
Until you decide what you want to do with your marriage, my advice is unlikely to change.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
