That is not good news. He never said he wants to try to work on M - he said/admitted that he was testing himself to see if he can do it but always finished by saying that it did not work, he did not feel any different that there is no hope. His actions are very messed up - he would cuddle with me when napping and he would not shy away from physical contact but once done and over with he would always make sure that he lets me know that his feelings did not change and that he feels uncomfortable about what happened.
He does not want me to snoop around he feels very angry when he realizes I did the snooping. At this point I'm trying so hard not to check his phone when I see it lying around with him not there. I will be home tomorrow and I could check his ocmputuer for e-amil (excpet this time he would know I did it plus it would probably hurt me immensly - I think this is why I feel the way I do because I saw those horrible e-mail to her and his parents). He was really disappointed and thought of it as tasteless when he said that he thinks it's just bad that I peacked into "people's private conversation".
I know that ignorance will not make things go away, I can't tell myself that he is not having an A but at least if I don't know details they will not hurt me.
What do you think of his current behavior though? The tantrum, the "blessing" to get hooked up with "cute guy", the affection when cuddling, the sex, the words, the "friendliness" ?
