GEL I already have a L and I trust him. He told me he won't let my H $hit on me and that's what I need. When it comes to his family - come on! His mother wanted pictures of her! What would be possible reason for anyone's mother asking her son who is married to send in the picctures of some coworker! I can't forgive her for pretending to be on my side (althouth that would explain why all of the sudden she seemed distant and not at all concerned that he is not even planning to go to psychiatrist which could possibly allow him to see the things for what they are) and for me feeling that she cares for me and me carying for her in return. I can't call her and say - I know you knew because he send you pictures - they would know I snooped. I can only do that if he figures it out and calls me on it.
Anyway, chances are I'm unable to think clearly through anger, I've done that before but I definitelly am dropping the rope and detaching full force. In my heart I know that this will not work out. I start to doubt that I trully want it to work out after all that. It's quite possible that my situation is not the worst there's been and there still was a happy reconciliation in other instances but it's not that I'm not strong. It's that like you said: I deserve better and I cannot be selling myself short.
I will talk to the psychiatrist about those feelings and see what she has to say.
