Quote: he is not telling me everything (he said it himself) and therefore we need to estabilish some trust by having tests done
Ok, gonna be blunt here for you ok? "We" don't need to establish trust, you haven't done anything. "He" need sto establish the trust. I believe I know where you are coming from when phrasing things this way...but it sounds like you're still taking responsibility for his A. CUT IT OUT! The responsibility falls squarly on his shoulders...ok?
Also, how are you going to establish trust if he's not telling you everything. He's still hiding things, that won't build trust.
Let me put it this way by continuing to have sex with him while the OW is still around, or in question...you're allowing him to have his cake and eat it too. Why?! I know you love him, but you aren't doing yourself any favors and you are only allowing him to get away with this behavior.
You do know you deserve to be treated better than this right?
I know I can be blunt, but sometimes that's what we all need
