Karen wrote: --------------- ...My question - if he knows it then why doesn't he ante up?... ---------------
The same reason you are likely missing his most important need.
The very thing that needs the most attention in a marriage, is the same need that a respective spouse finds the hardest to attend.
It takes time and effort.
I can use myself for an example. MrsNOP has longed for many years for me to notice her when she is 'all fixed up'. I always compliment her beauty when she is wearing plain clothes or has paint on her face - basically when she isn't 'all fixed up'. In my mind, that is when her real beauty shows through.
Regardless of what seems logical to me, she wants to be noticed WHEN SHE HAS MADE AN EFFORT. I am beginning to understand that. Even so, making it a habit to do something that my brain considers counter-intuitive is the hard part. I AM getting better at it though.
I think it is important that both spouses recognize that simple difference in how we recognize each others needs. Then, 'frequent reminders' doesn't become nagging by either spouse.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
