Yes, definitely drop the sugar coated talk. Be direct, not hurtful mind you, but direct. Say what you mean, mean what you say...don't use euphamisms...I lose my H when I do this. It's all too easy for him to not take what I'm saying seriously when I do that. Don't get me wrong, occasionally I'll use a useful analogy when I find one I think he can relate to...but in general now I try to stay away from it in convo's with him. I may use some on here...but I avoid them with him now.
As far as the book, I would highly recommend you read it first. My H has agreed to reading the book, but I'm lucky in the fact that my H really does want to work on things. He just is slow to actually do the hard stuff....you stretch himself to do the things that are uncomfortable for him.
When I approached him about reading the book...I told him that I really would like it if he'd read it simply because there were parts of the book that I felt were written directly for me...and some for him. I made a point to tell him that it tries very hard to give BOTH perspectives, so I (to some extent) was able to see where he may be coming from as well.
Oh, and definitely DO NOT hide them. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you are working on your relationship for the good of both of you....why hide them? If he's not too thrilled about you reading these books...too frickin bad. You have every right to read whatever you please. Somehow I don't think he's going to be angry with you though. To be honest with you, I think my H actually liked the fact that I was doing "research" as he called it.
