Wow, you are all really funny. And thank you Mike for the welcome.
HP: *&^%! you reminded me that I had meant to being up the stupid nympho comment during "the talk" & I forgot. (darn! now I'm going to have to find a way to put this out there by itself) I had meant to tell him I don't want to hear that word again. Also, like you, I should be the tired one, taking care of the baby, and I see that there’s time and opportunity, ironic that H should be the one who’s “too tired” I borrowed heavily from HP's & GEL's posts for ideas of how to phrase things... I did throw out that "I have been neglecting one of your basic needs and then wondering why you were upset." (in reverse, of course) I'm hoping after giving it a few days to sink in he'll be a little more sympathetic at least. Well, the diet and exercise program start today, it won't hurt me to get into better shape anyways, but H has farther to go and less incentive, so now I am also diet and exercise coach.
H’s relationship with his mother is odd in that he was really raised by his grandmother, his mom was 18: married, got preg and divorced in the same year, then handed baby to grandma so she could go to college. The dripping hatred she and grandmother have of his father has got to be an issue, and occasionally to this day they will make mean remarks about how he is like his father (I've met the guy, womanizer but not a horrible father) & it bothers them that he doesn't hate his father (not that they get along that great really). Also, because his grandmother really treats him as her third baby, his relationship with his mother is much more like that of a VERY jealous sibling. His mother is definitely jealous of her mother's love of H. Also his mother makes no effort to hide that she loves his half-brother (much younger and she raised him) much more than H. Yeah, there are issues could keep a C busy for a while.
As for ML during preg. I actually took H to DR visit and had DR explain that it was OK. So pretty much it’s just an excuse he won’t let go of. I let it go during the preg to keep peace and calm, which was important to me at the time. I’m sure it was more of an emotional/mental picture issue so I’m willing to let it go, I just wish he would see it for what it really was rather than cover it up with fake medical reasons. But in the spirit of picking my battles, I’m not dealing with this one.
The sugar-coating is definitely something to ditch then? I am willing to try getting rid of the “subtle” talking around the issue, he’s really the one who has trouble talking about “those things” In light of the recommendations, I am going to try to be more direct in what I say.
So now, again, a question for everyone: How did you decide whether or not try to get SO to read related books? My new library should be here by the end of the week.. Should I read them first then try to get H to read one? Should I leave them laying around & hope he’ll pick one up (particularly SSM)? Or should I hide them? Any ideas? Experiences?
