Hey, she'd do anything for a pet from Timmie, so maybe there is a connection. Especially if your man's name is Tim, LOLOL.
I am really honest about my feelings, my reactions to him, my opinion of his behavior (workin on that one ) etc. What I am NOT forthcoming about--and I just discovered this recently--is my own sexual wishes and wants and needs. I tend to downplay them so as not to freak him out and overwhelm him. I tend to minimize what I want so he doesn't think I'm weird or nutz. This is not just me being a ninny..it is a direct reaction to being called a nympho and worse over the years. He contributed to this, too. However, at this point...when neither of us is name calling anymore..WHY am I still holding back what I want? Is there some part of ME that thinks that my wishes are unreasonable? Have I bought into his accusation that I am unreasonable in my sexual requests? If so, why have I allowed that to happen? After all, he is VERY forthright about what his sexual expectations are and what he is wanting, so what is preventing me from laying my own stuff on the line?
So that's why I told him, this last weekend, Yeah damn skippy I want a hot sex life. Every day would be fine with me and by the way, what is your problem with everyday sex anyway.
The truth is that I don't really WANT everyday sex but I could easily live with it, at the same time. But for the past two years I have been minimizing my feelings when we have the frequency discussion and saying, H..Nooooooo..I don't want sex every day!..so that he is not worried or feels inadequate.
This, imo, is a double edged sword. Perhaps at first there is some merit to downplaying your needs so that your partner is not completely freaked, but at some point you have to get real. After all he is married to me and instinctively knows when I am saying one thing and secretly hoping for another. Maybe that's why he has been throwing this same tired line in my face for years "I can't have sex every day, like you want!!" and I would dutifully respond, H I don't want sex every day..
Instead I shoulda said, Well DAMN that is a disappointment cause I sure would love it every day! and let him deal with the feelings of inadequacy and letting-your-partner-down. Then we could move past that and on to something else. Perhaps I have been impeding his development by 'protecting' him with my half-truths.
Sometimes you have to face some really harsh feelings that come from your partner's direction in order to be able to feel immense hurt and then move on to the next phase.
) etc. What I am NOT forthcoming about--and I just discovered this recently--is my own sexual wishes and wants and needs. I tend to downplay them so as not to freak him out and overwhelm him. I tend to minimize what I want so he doesn't think I'm weird or nutz. This is not just me being a ninny..it is a direct reaction to being called a nympho and worse over the years. He contributed to this, too. However, at this point...when neither of us is name calling anymore..WHY am I still holding back what I want? Is there some part of ME that thinks that my wishes are unreasonable? Have I bought into his accusation that I am unreasonable in my sexual requests? If so, why have I allowed that to happen? After all, he is VERY forthright about what his sexual expectations are and what he is wanting, so what is preventing me from laying my own stuff on the line?
