Quote: He still insists he doesn't want to see a counselor, but I'm going to just make the appt and see if he'll go once it's happening. He did agree to a physical and testosterone test.
That's great! Make the appointment for yourself, then at some point see if he'll agree to go. If nothing else the C may be able to give you direction on how to handle things, and deal with issues you need to as well. It's great that he's willing to see a Doc. though...my H was also more willing to do that than see a C...perhaps for your H that will be the next step as well
Quote: He still insists that ML during the preg would have been dangerous (he really won't let this one go)(!)
Does he not believe the thousands of doctors who have researched this and have found that it is not dangerous? Sure it may be uncomfy after a point, but it's not dangerous.
Quote: He was (strangely to me) VERY against one of us moving into the guestroom, saying that would make us just roommates
To me this says he obviously does love you and wants you as his W but there's more going on there. It's very possible he doesn't understand why he's not thinking about sex too...my H was having a tough time with that. It's as if it's a weakness to them...which I understand. And of course our telling them we want more sex, and then them as a male not knowing why they don't wanting it or think about it. I'm sure you can see how in their minds they would think we see them as less of a man...can't you?
Quote: As for the actual issue: he claims it’s because we are in bad shape physically.
Yep, he's coming up with the excuses...and the list of things to eliminate. I had a list of things to eliminate with my H as well...then he finally agreed to a C when there were no other options.
Quote: I am rather frustrated that this appears to mean that the wait is going to continue… for more than a couple more weeks…
I'm sorry to say, but it will continue...but it can improve. You've got some hard work ahead of you, but if you love your H and he loves you...as I believe is the case, this can be dealt with...and you will find that the hard work you put into working through this will build a stronger relationship for the two of you.
Quote: I’m trying to be positive, but the truth is I’m kind of miserable right now.
((((Laurie)))) I understand
Quote: What's his reason for rejecting you? Most of the typical ones and a few creatives: headache, tired (even after he just wakes up) doesn’t like it in the morning, during daylight, before going to sleep, after taking a shower, or before leaving the house. He doesn’t like my approach (I’ve tried a lot of things here, gentle, rough, subtle, asking outright, touching, kissing, suggesting, scheduling, spontaneous places, in bed). He does claim to enjoy ML when he does it though.
Dang! He sounds just like my H in many, many ways.
Quote: I know H doesn’t MB, even in the shower.
Neither does mine, hasn't the entire time I've been married to him anyway.
Quote: Also, I’m beginning to think that this might become an issue for me… How do you get over your anger, hurt and pride when SO finally decides to ML after a long dry spell?
Well to be honest, for me I had to make the choice to give him a chance...it's really hard, I understand that. But in order to really work on things you're going to have to take that chip on your shoulder and place it on a shelf for awhile. Going to see a C for yourself is a great place to start as well. A C may be able to give you some insight as to why your H is behaving the way he is and give you suggestions on ways to better communicate with him. I know for my H and I communication has been more than half our battle so far.
