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his past relationships were with very controlling/dominate women. They used sex as a weapon (withheld it, told him he wasn't normal for wanting it when he did etc


Well, now that you mention it, that really resonates... Several people have told me that his previous LTR was with a woman who openly (in front of friends and family) threatened to stop having sex with him if he didn't give in to her when arguing. & then again it does sound like what he's doing to me now...

Well.... We had "the talk"
He still insists he doesn't want to see a counselor, but I'm going to just make the appt and see if he'll go once it's happening. He did agree to a physical and testosterone test.
He still insists that ML during the preg would have been dangerous (he really won't let this one go)(!)
He was (strangely to me) VERY against one of us moving into the guestroom, saying that would make us just roommates (but we don't have sex, I don't get it! what's the difference anyways?) When I told him I couldn't take the sexual frustration any longer, he tried to convince me I'm actually frustrated about work (I've been on maternity leave for 3 months, I'm not thinking about work right now).
As for the actual issue: he claims it’s because we are in bad shape physically. Well, I’m still getting back after the pregnancy and he gained as much as I did during the preg. and hasn’t lost any weight. So now he swears that once we get back in shape everything will be better. Honestly, this has been a problem for 4 years, one that we have discussed many times, and it was a problem even when we were both in really good shape. I’m just not sure how to take this, it seems like it’s just an easy excuse on his part (and since it can’t been fixed within a week, a very safe excuse). On the other hand, it seems ridiculous to dictate to him what he is feeling, and at least it’s something that can be tangibly measured (ie: ok, we’ve both lost the weight, now what?)
I am rather frustrated that this appears to mean that the wait is going to continue… for more than a couple more weeks… but I see some of you have been in for an even longer haul, so I’m going to try to buck up here. (no excuses GEL ) I’m trying to be positive, but the truth is I’m kind of miserable right now.

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I can’t initiate because he never accepts
What's his reason for rejecting you?


Most of the typical ones and a few creatives: headache, tired (even after he just wakes up) doesn’t like it in the morning, during daylight, before going to sleep, after taking a shower, or before leaving the house. He doesn’t like my approach (I’ve tried a lot of things here, gentle, rough, subtle, asking outright, touching, kissing, suggesting, scheduling, spontaneous places, in bed). He does claim to enjoy ML when he does it though.

I have been thinking all day about H and one of the things I realized is that as far as I know H doesn’t MB, even in the shower. I’m pretty sure he really doesn’t. I’m not really sure what that could mean, if anything. But curious.

Also, I’m beginning to think that this might become an issue for me… How do you get over your anger, hurt and pride when SO finally decides to ML after a long dry spell? After 3 months without, I was able to do this because I has a little drunk, after nearly 9 months, I wonder if I could get that drunk Seriously, because I think if H tried to touch me right now I’d probably attack him, and not in a good way. & if/when H does finally want to, I don’t want to ruin it by being angry. How do you do it?