Go to a gadget store and get some baby monitors, you plug em into the wall and they "listen" and "brodcast". It may not be as easy but they do work well and you can be comfortable listening in.
You may not be able to be a Sex Goddess with the littleone in the room. This "sacrifice" on your part should allow H to feel special. You know how much you want to feel special again in his eyes. He may have difficulty competing with the B
Also, have you had the multiple children discussion? Is he practicing "ultimate birth control"? Was this child "planned" or was it a spontanious gift?
(Sounds to me like he's got a problem with responsibilities, from you're saying that the sex quieted, which it will do, but not necessairily that quickly. Every time you two get more responsibilities, the fun goes out of your life. If the work is ok, or great, or even not that bad, try talking on accepting this lot in life and try to laugh and lighten up. MAYBE the burden of a new family will turn into the blessing it was ment to be.)
Pity me that the heart is slow to learn
What the swift mind beholds at every turn.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
