Thanks for the concern! Yes, my chronic neck-itis has flared up, and it is painful to use the computer (position of head and arms). I'll check in when I can type longer than a few seconds at a time without a nerve pinched from tight muscles stabbing me. Ugh. REALLY bad timing.
Things are OK here, aside from the wayward neck that shall be amputated. Whacks were fine - although there was a little misunderstanding therein - I expected them.
Again, thanks for your concern! It's so wonderful to have a community of people who look out for you.
HEHEH... There you are, I was lookning for you , 1st your there, then your gone. I was looking for someone to talk to today. Hope your neck gets better.
Christian
"I'm not to sure that this will go the way I or any of us want, but maybe go the way it has to."
Thanks anne, midip, maya, SD, Betsey, welcome KID, and thanks H2H, GBO, Wendy, Christian, and of course Ellie…
Hi hi hi guys, just a quick post while the wine is staying the pinched nerves...
Thank you so much for all the input. The reason I posted under the title Need a Kick in the *ss was that in knew I was being the old me. That said...
SD, if you hadn't laughed, I would have been disappointed. I mean, really disappointed. I laugh at myself on a daily basis, and when I stop, I’ll realize I’m done fer. So thanks for laughing.
Ellie, Yeah. I know. Really.
Welcome, Kid, and thanks for stopping in. Nice to have new blood on the thread… I’ll get over to yours one of these days soon.
OK, let me try to be brief, as wine doesn’t work quite as well as painkillers, and I’ll probably fall asleep at some point here.
Betsey, I couldn’t tell if you were misreading things or referencing old perceptions by S. Wanting to go out to dinner and a movie hardly counts as “party girl” in my book, especially since we’d already been back a week. I wanted to get out, as we both had been eating dinner in all week, and I had been working at home all day and dying to get out of the house. Party girl is really such a misnomer. I enjoy eating out once in a while, and going to the movies. Parties terrify me, and the thought of going to a club makes me want to stick my head in the sand. So, not sure what your definition of a party girl is.
Yes, I overreact and yes, I realize I could have been more accommodating. When the cherry is askew , I tend to lose my tool box. BUT, in my defense, I did not post one of the things I proposed to him, which was, we could eat at home and then go to the movies in our neighborhood. But he wanted to go to a particular movie in “town,” and so that’s what we did. Did I mention we’d been back a week already?
Wanting to go out once in a while, I think, isn’t such a horrible thing. And I don’t even ask him once a week – it’s more like once every two or three weeks, to his asking hardly ever.
H2H, as usual, you’re spot on. Yes, I go through these equations, which are of course fallacious, and get myself into trouble. OK, so he likes to stay in the nest with JinB. OK. Fine. So do I. But I also like to go out every once in a while, and sometimes, as in this one, I thought that it would help to have a shared experience, like going to the movies, to buffer the awkwardness of NYE. I thought, if we stay home, we’ll get bogged down in awkwardness and talk about the R. If we go out, we can talk about the movie. And that’s exactly what happened. In fact, it was a sort of tactic for me, to bring us closer together after such an awkward NY.
**
This weekend we had difficult talks, followed by lots of making up and closeness .
Will tell all later, when I can be normal and not incapacitated by a keyboard.
Again, thanks for all the support – I really do value all opinions, even the hard ones to swallow.
I didn't mean to cast aspersions on your character. Hey, remember my paradigm comes from having 2 kids. And the last thing I want to do after going on vacation with them is head out again.
But I think I remember awhile back that you had dubbed your former self as "party girl"? Or something along those lines?
And I will definitely agree with you that wanting to go out isn't a bad thing. More than occasionally, Jennifer. Don't feel like I'm berating you for that...
I think you've got something good to work with here:
Quote: In fact, it was a sort of tactic for me, to bring us closer together after such an awkward NY.
Maybe your message would have been received if it had been focused on this sentiment? I'm guessing that S doesn't like the distance between you two either. So why not just spill the beans and tell him what you're feeling and your proposed remedy and see if that's what Rx he would prescribe?
Hugs back atcha girl, and hope you're feeling better really soon.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Forget the 2 x 4's, when are we going to ring in the new year together?
Seriously, I think you two are making good progress. You may want to check out marriagebuilders.com and the Policy of Joint Agreement among other things on that site. It's a good place to help you think about mutual expectations, goals, and decisions--and is very helpful to look at before anyone gets married.
I just got a short email from her and she wants everyone to know that she is flat on her back with acute pain and that's why she's not posting....she checked her email only and that's what she could manage.
Thinking of you, Jen, and sending healing intentions your way,
Hi Jin- I hope you feel better really soon. It sounds like you got all kinds of replies to your sitch, and some may have hit home. I too am an introvert, and like to stay home. I think betsey was using the term party girl as an expression, not to be taken literally. You and your S are so good at talking things thru and coming up with mutually beneficial solutions, I am sure you can do that here too.
I for one appreciate your honest emotional reactions about the situations you are in with your S., I think we have to be so careful not to go overboard with our reaciotns when we are actually WITH them, that it is a nice break to come here and vent a bit.
.
Betsey