Boo! It's me! Now, let me see if I can take a crack at this little snafu.

For you Jennifer, it seems the following equation holds true: S. NOT making plans with me = he doesn't quite love me enough - he doesn't care enough that I want to go out more. Evidence: He NEVER makes plans with me, and he does make plans with others.

Now before I poke holes in your equation, let's ask what if S.'s equation looks like:
Staying home w/ J. = comfortable love - I don't have to have outside entertainment because I am more than satisfied (feeling loved) when I am at home with my girl. Evidence: I never am bored at home with J. With my friends, I'd have to 'supply' the entertainment if I asked them over to my place. Plus we all live in different places around town, so it's just easiest to go out straight after work in the city.

Result: J. feels unimportant, unloved because she wants to go out and S. feels unimportant, unloved because he wants to stay home in the nest with J.

I'm just guessing here, so I'll ask you if any of this could be true? ? ? And now on to your equation: NEVER is one of those dangerous words, no? Let's throw the phrase "I am the LAST person he thinks about making plans with." in there too while we're at it. Let's see... S. is the guy you go away with to Vermont on weekends, right? And he plans to spend the holidays with you, huh? And hmmmmm, aren't you in the middle of planning a trip to Chile with S.? So I don't think he's missing the 'Planning Gene".

It really does sound more like different definitions of "romance" . . .and I agree that figuring out a way to tell him what you want would be useful. No doubt that not pouting would help too. (SD's duct tape might help there). AND, AND, AND making sure you are speaking his LL, right? What are S.'s ideas of a perfect or wonderful evening? What can you do to ensure he's getting enough of what he needs, while you tell him what you need?

I really don't think this particular issue is a big one - I think the reactions you both have to the issue is more important. It sounds like S. gets itchy when you are anything other than light & happy. And you get pouty when he doesn't react as you'd like him to. It's not quite fair for S. to want you NEVER to be disappointed, and it's not fair of you think that S. can mind read.

From this side, it just seems you two need some 'splaining to do. Any of this make sense to you?

See you soon????????????????????????????????????????
-H2H