Hi Jen, and oh yes, it is great to have you back! I loved your description of the Christmas stockings, the mountain home, the menu.....
As Maya says, don't beat yourself up. What's done is done. You had a great vacation with him after stressing about it, and that is most important.
From the learning side, I do think Ellie has some good points. From my vantage point of wishing my H would come home, I sure think I could be a lot more flexible with him than I used to be ... I would not want to sweat the small stuff. Of course, what is small and what is big depends on one's perspective. I guess the trick for all of us is gaining the self-awareness to know--"this one's big!" and to name it out loud so that he can change or make a counteroffer. Or "I don't like it, and not what I was expecting, but it's not a big deal" and roll with whatever it is. Suffering in awkward silence clearly lacks the whiff of cheddar though. I say all this as a reformation-in-progress of a person who has loved to control the small stuff in our family life for reasons I am still working out.
Anyway, I hope the evening went well and that all is smoothed over by now. Really, I'm so glad you are back. You have been missed.
... I would not want to sweat the small stuff. Of course, what is small and what is big depends on one's perspective. I guess the trick for all of us is gaining the self-awareness to know--"this one's big!" and to name it out loud so that he can change or make a counteroffer. Or "I don't like it, and not what I was expecting, but it's not a big deal" and roll with whatever it is. Suffering in awkward silence clearly lacks the whiff of cheddar though. I say all this as a reformation-in-progress of a person who has loved to control the small stuff in our family life for reasons I am still working out.
