SO nice to see you, Maya! Thanks for the kind words.
So wouldn't you know - three minutes back on the boards and I get myself into a situation where I need to come screaming back for help. Well, that's what we're here for, right?
S. just called me from work to check in about plans for tonight (which I asked him to do this morning as he was leaving my house). He said "I don't have any plans for tonight, so I'm going to come home." I asked if he didn't want to go out and DO something. He waffled, hemmed, hawed, and I sat stonily, because I can be a brat and because he called me at 8 last night to say he was going out for beers with a friend after work, and he never makes plans with me, and waaaaah.
So anyway, after a painful 10 minutes of negotiation, during which there were silences, sighs, awkward starts and stops, and "we could"s, we finally decided to meet for dinner and then go to a movie.
The thing that chaps my knickers is that I am the LAST person he thinks about making plans with. I mean, I specifically asked him to call so that we could make a plan for tonight (and I asked him because he works on a daily deadline and only he would know when he could take a few minutes' break and talk), and so when he calls, he says he hasn't made any OTHER plans, and so his plan is to come home.
Part of me knows that this is his way of communicating that nothing else (including plans with me) has come across his desk, and so the default setting is to come home. But the other part of me wants to scream "SO THINK OF SOMETHING AND ASK ME TO DO IT!" or at the very least, "SO RESPOND TO MY SUGGESTION THAT WE GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING WITH SOME SORT OF ENTHUSIASM!"
I think I've answered my own question, the answer to which is, we need to sit down and come up with lists of things (a la Harville Hendrix and Gary Chapman) we would like to do for each other and things we'd like the other to do. Mine would be ASK ME OUT ON A DATE every friggin once in a while! As Maya so eloquently puts above (thank you, Maya), I need to do better about letting him know what I want, and better about not pouting when I don't get it.
I lightly said, during the course of this strained and impossible conv., that I thought we'd go out and do something since we hadn't done anything in a while, to which he replied, "What do you mean we haven't done anything? We just spend a week in Georgia."
