Ugh. A bad interaction with S. this morning. I went out with MF last night, and did not call or go over to S's when I got home. So this morning, I called, and he was in "all business" mode. He was talking quickly, giving shortish answers, and I was Acting As If to kill a horse. I asked him how he was feeling, since he'd been under the weather the other night, and used it as a segue to let him know I had come home late, that I hadn't wanted to call or come over so late, etc.
Well, I got the third degree for a minute, "How late did you come home?" "I see." What did you do after the movie?" "Where did you go?" And then in a hurry to get off the phone. I needed to ask him to srop my phone charger off on his way to work, and so I did, and I asked him to ring the bell so I could say hi.
Well, an hour later I got a call saying he was going to drop the charger in the mail slot. I said I'd come down, and he was adamant about if I wasn't there that second, he was going to drop it in the slot. (He always makes a big production about being in a hurry to go to work.) So I met him downstairs, and he gave me a kiss, but was dying to get away from me and was very short. I gave him back his keys, and he was practically running down the stoop stairs when I said "Wait a minute!" a little exasperatedly and he turned around. I said, "I just wanted to let you know I'm going to go out after work tonight with my friend [H2H name]." (He knows the name but they have never met.) He gets off pretty late, so this isn't like I'm telling him I'm going out at the expense of seeing him. He replied, shortly, "OK." I said, "Do you have any plans?" and he said "I'm coming home after work. That's my plan." So I cheerfully said "OK! So I'll call you when I get home." He said "OK, bye," I think, because he was for all intents and purposes already halfway down the block at this point.
So, I'm ASSuming, he is very annoyed that I didn't return his call last night or come over after being out with MF. And I guess he's pretty jealous, too. I'm not sure what to do about it. I will resist contact today (because I always overdo it when he's upset with me and it turns into a power struggle), and just do what i said and call him when I get home. Part of me thinks he'll be over it by then, and part of me knows we'll get into another R talk about how it's bothering him that I'm spending so much time with MF.
For the record, I am NOT even SLIGHTLY interested in MF as a partner, life or sexual or otherwise. He's been interested in me for 14 years, and if I haven't caved by now I never will. He just doesn't do it for me. S. has heard this before (but not recently). I'm waffling between holding onto the shred of mystery and making it extra clear that MF isn't the slightest threat. Ms. Mystery, Ellie, I'd be interested to see what you think about this.
I guess it's a dose of my own medicine. I always gave him the cold shoulder when he wasn't behaving like I wanted him to. I guess I know what it feels like now! He rarely does this, and therefore I'm at a loss as to how he recovers, what to do, etc. My instinct is to let it lie and if he wants to bring it up, fine, but continue to Act As If everything is A-OK.
I'm predicting a conversation in which he nails me for doing exactly what it is I get peeved at him for doing. Which he always rails against, so which is it? If he is nailing me for it, and he doesn't want me to nail him for it, but I'm nailing him for it, and then doing it myself... vicious cycle...
Hoo! Didn't someone say this was going to be easy?
