Hi Anne, My sitch is here. I'll have to try to get it in my sig again, it didn't work last time I tried for whatever reason. I think I may have backslid a bit today, but also gained much needed insight in my W's line of thinking. I went home to get some items I needed - I have a sister coming to visit in 2 weeks, and wanted additional items so sis and I could cook. Anyway, I visited and played with our cats (9 of them!), and MIL and FIL were there. Visit went well I thought. I took a load of stuff to my apartment, then went back later to try to find a few items that I misplaced. The ILs were gone. And the backslide occured when I started talking to the W. But I learned a lot. Having a hard time remembering all the details (I have short term memory problems) but essentially, she needs 'alone time'. LOTS of it. More than I've been giving. We're good friends, we have that going for us. She's my BEST friend, and I miss talking to her. Anyway, I told her 'you know how to get ahold of me' and I'm going to do my best to make no more contact - email or otherwise - until she makes contact. There are agreed-upon exceptions. 1)when I see my C she and I talk about it. 2)my sis is coming to visit and wants to meet W and W isn't against it 3)we volunteer together at a no-kill cat rescue every other Saturday, next week we will be very short in volunteers so she and I will be pretty much the only ones there. 4)I have some stuff on order that is for both of us, and she has some food on order for both of us to split, and we'll be in contact to split those items. Aside from that, the oneness (onus?) to make contact is now on her. And I'm praying for strength on this one. The last thing - and another hard one for me - was, when I went to leave I stepped in for an embrace, caught myself, and stepped back. She said, "I prefer not to". It stung, but I understand.
So there's my up-to-date sitch. I wish I had done all of what I'm doing before we separated, but I cann't change the past.
