Didn't get much time with H last night. He seemed in a much better mood. But he had to go into work early, since one of the other bartenders had quit. (Early being 8pm.)

He left for the gym shortly after I got home. I crashed...think too much stress at work...and was asleep when he got back from the gym. I couldn't seem to get up to even talk to him while he got ready for work. He did ask me several times if I was mad at him. Really, I was just passed out on the bed, couldn't wake up.

I was too tired to go to the gym. I had wanted to get some cardio in...maybe work on that dresser a bit more... Instead, I wound up just drawing on the computer some more. I went to bed a little later...called H and left him a goodnight vm, like I always do.

Thought I heard him come in around 6am or so. Woke up after 7am, and he wasn't home. sigh His sleep got all whacked out while I was in Chicago...I think he was up until 9 or 10am most nights. Yikes.

I debated calling him... I usually wake up cranky. I just don't wake up well. And I didn't want to come across angry or pushy. That just gets him defensive--which means he shuts down, doesn't hear me, and gets angry. Bad communication.

I finally decided to. He didn't answer, so I didn't leave vm. I had pretty much assumed he had gone out to breakfast, and lost track of time. This is very typical for my H--he's just lousy with dates and time and whatnot. He does it constantly. Me, I have this ridiculously good memory...sometimes I expect others to, as well.

I was still trying to get out of bed--the dog was really whining --when he called me back a minute later. He said he had been wrapping up a conversation with some people, and just wanted to wait a minute to return my call. I said that was fine.

I--very gently, trying to be my most non-confrontational--asked why he hadn't called to tell me he would be late. He asked what time it was. When I told him it was 7:30, he was pretty surprised, and felt bad. He said he thought I wouldn't mind if he went out to breakfast after work. I said I didn't--I would just like to know if he's going to be home late. That I always get worried if it's not home by 7am.

He kept apologizing, over and over. Said that he was trying to be reassuring, and couldn't believe he had messed this up. I told him, again, it was okay...but I would just like to have a phone call, even if I'm asleep, letting me know he'll be home late. (I swear, I hate this stupid backward schedule of his.)

H was still a little worked up when he got home. He came in and gave me a kiss as I was getting ready. He did compliment several times on how beautiful I looked. Yay on the WOA. He asked me if I had thought he was "doing anything bad." (I'm guessing this means cheating.) I said no...I didn't have that impression at all...just got worried. And I really wasn't thinking that...that was never my H's personality...

He kind of followed me a bit as I was getting ready. I was admittedly very distracted. I think he thought I was being distant since he kept asking if I was mad. I really wasn't. I almost didn't even mention to him that I would have liked a call. But, I thought better, and didn't want to just sit on something I felt was important--just wanted to adress it gently, without accusation. I didn't yell or scream or anything like that.

H did mention he needed to go to the bank, so he said he was waiting on me to leave for work before he left again. I told him that was okay. He even came to me first for some kisses before I left.

I was a bit worried on my way to work. I wanted to call and make sure he was okay. But that's a bad, bad habit of mine. If he wanted some reassurance, he can call me...and has in the past. If he doesn't, then I should let it go. It's not my fault he got worked up, and I should quit feeling so responsible for his emotions. We both have this problem, and it leads to this nasty downward dynamic.

Still haven't picked up M/V yet. Just been a busy week. Although I am looking forward to getting a copy.

[color:"purple"]Nevanna[/color]