I had a good cry during lunch yesterday. Now I'm not bad. It felt good.
So I was pretty calm by the afternoon. (And I'm feeling social again. ) H called me just before 5, said he missed me and wanted to say hi.
When I got home, he practically wouldn't let me walk, he clung onto me so tightly. (Hm, that's what he says about me, sometimes... ) He was really upset, had himself all worked up, was convinced that I was going to leave him. I layed down with him for awhile, and he was very clingy. Said he couldn't believe he had messed up as badly as he had...was talking about how he was going to quit going out all of the time soon...how he wanted to run away and take me with him.
Big change compared to a few weeks ago. He had told me while I was in Chicago that he couldn't talk to me. Last night he said I was the only one he could tal with. And he was still mad...I think he may be getting past that stage. H has always been someone to talk a lot, and then follow through. (Eventually.) So that he's talking about not going out so much...that's a good thing.
He also had mentioned that he had done a good job of "acting normal" in front of BIL2 the other day. Another good sign...when he's in full-blown alien mode, he couldn't care less about what impression his family has of our M. And, before, when he started "pretending" to be okay, it didn't take too long until he was okay. (See? Act As If works! )
I wanted to go to the gym. H started to get worked up again--said he was feeling panicky. I'm not even sure that he could put it into words. I asked if he wanted me to stay, and he said no...
He joined me at the gym a little later. I could tell he was still feeling upset. He came over to talk to me several times--I did ask him if he wanted to go, and he said no. I asked him if he wanted time alone, and he said he didn't know. He said he felt like just laying on me and cyring. I caught him watching me several times while I was working out...would have been creepy if it wasn't my H. He did seem very distracted.
I left before him--asked him if it was okay--and went BIL2's for awhile to paint my dresser. I missed a call from him while I was there, and he left me a message saying he had gone to visit MF, thinking a distraction might calm him down. He did come home a little sooner than usual. Although I was already in bed. And he wanted to cuddle.
When I told him I was headed to work this morning, he got upset again. Wrapped both arms around me, and wanted me to stay. I told him I would be home before he got up--and that he can always call me.
We'll see. I'm not sure why, all of the sudden, he is so worked up. But he's very upset, very panicky. I think his crazymaker got out.
It felt good. 
) H called me just before 5, said he missed me and wanted to say hi. 
He had told me while I was in Chicago that he couldn't talk to me. Last night he said I was the only one he could tal with. And he was still mad...I think he may be getting past that stage. H has always been someone to talk a lot, and then follow through. (Eventually.) So that he's talking about not going out so much...that's a good thing. 
