Sit for just a moment. Realize that you are still there. Pinch yourself if you have to. You are still Nevanna, and YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN HE IS ABLE TO GIVE YOU.

He isn't trying, Nev. He isn't doing what a committed guy does, but that isn't your fault! I have slipped up quite a few times with my H, and we hash it out...he doesn't get mad at me for it, because his actions put that fear there! Last night, we even had a talk about something specifically painful that happened while we were separated. He works hard as hell to prove himself.

Why are you working so hard to prove yourself to this man who is selfish and hurtful? We love you here. We want you to not hurt anymore, and it doesn't seem like H is making any progress.

But YOU? You are amazing, chica. You need to spread the wonderfulness of you around to people who can appreciate it.

(((((((((Nevanna))))))))))))

One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.