Quote:

I suspect that he's going through that one crisis that comes about for people in their late 20's early 30's. Yes, you can have an mlc at various time in your life, if you were not able to completely grow up properly and continued to have interruptions along the way in the game called life. His crisis will not be fixed today nor tomorrow and could take up to about 5 years. He's on a search to find himself and deal w/those unresolved childhood issues that are raising their ugly little heads at this time.



Was wandering around the MLC forum, and found this by snodderly. (Yeah, I know, look who's wandering the BB on Saturday night at 2am. ) Anyway, sure sounded familiar to me... H was making some weird comments earlier about, now that he's focussing on the GED, he doesn't feel like such a little kid anymore. That he doesn't feel "juvenile." And he wondered if I would still like (love?) him if he "wasn't so much fun" anymore.

Had another good cry in the car when I was running errands. Actually, I would have rather not got upset, but I did anyway. I did wind up placing a rose and the card in his car. Also left him a vmail saying "goodnight." Just going to leave it at that right now.

Something else occurred to me... H has been really dismissive of spending time with me again. It hasn't necessarily been in favor of new people--like in the past--but it just doesn't seem to occur to him that maybe he should do something with me. An example: his comment earlier about not even thinking about us doing something together tonight. I also got that stupid speech about how he wants to spend time with "people" (it's always ambiguous) since he's signing up for the military soon. That he wants to see them before he won't ever see them again since we're moving to Arizona.

I didn't say anything. But H must have picked up on the expression on my face--he said "You're wondering where you fit it in." I nodded. He told me that I, as his W, would always be there, so it was okay if he didn't spend some time with me now, because there will be plenty of time on down the road.

I hate this one. He pulled the same BS on me a year ago, so I have heard this one before. I kept thinking "You don't take care of this M, and you never know, I might just get fed up and take off. Then there really won't be a 'later.'" And "What if something were to happent to me tomorrow? Aren't you the one who always said you could die the next day in a car crash?" Didn't say it, though.

So....I'm going to make my own plans for next Saturday. Actually, I'm going to ask him to do something with me. And, if that doesn't work, then I'll just make sure I'm busy next Saturday. Maybe out of town. And I won't let him come along, like he usually does. (I'm "nosy" and "intrusive" if I want to be included with his friends...but yet he always wants to come along with me when I see mine. What kind of double standard is that??)

Maybe I'm just rambling...I'm tired, but don't want to go to bed. I'm frustrated. My eyes hurt from crying.

Just when I was starting to actually believe we might be able to get on with a normal life, just when I was beginning to think he wouldn't pull this crap on me again... I used to be so scared that he would come back from work, or that I would come home from work, and he would be that distant, weird, mean guy again. I finally, finally was starting to believe that wouldn't happen...and then he goes and gets all crazy again.. This is so not like the guy I married....

[color:"purple"]Nevanna[/color]