Hugs to you. I'm sorry that you are feeling like "such a mess" -- from your posts for the last week or so it's clear to me that you've been dealing with not only your own sort of normal "piecing stuff" but also a ton of h's "stuff" too...that's a lot for one person! And now that h is feeling better and he's distracted by the car, well, of course you're feeling a little raw!
So...can you just feel it and be ok with it? a la "I feel raw and hurt and insecure and I know it's because I just went thru a crappy time and that's understandable..." OR, can you do something special for yourself to soothe yourself? OR, and this is a scary one, can you draw a wee bit CLOSER to h (not through talk necessarily but thru action)...IOW, face the fear and do it anyway? Make a date with him? Stand up to your fear? Not take your perception of his distance personally?
All super human stuff for someone who's still in the midst of an emotional time...but you've got choices ... how about laying low for a day or two and just tending to you?
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
