Sigh.

I had a bad night. Really, really bad night. Unfortunately, I can't blame it on PMS right now....

I'm too tired to go into all right now. Bedtime. Just thought if I could put it down that I had a bad night, I might feel better... lol Does that make any sense? Ah, well.

Lots of stuff swirling in my head right now. H is about to go out for the night. I feel totally unvalidated, and alone right now. First time I've felt this way in quite some time...

On the other hand, I did notice that somewhere along the way, the DB stuff just got smooshed into my brain. Enough that I guess I don't always think about it, just do it. That's a good thing.

Sigh.

I'm tired. Emotionally. Physically. I think I desperately need a vacation.

H just got out of the shower. He asked if I was writing about tonight. I said no, that all I wanted to do was write down that I was feeling crappy. That, a lot of times, that makes me feel better. He came over and gave me a hug. (Ooooh, that felt soooo much better...) I asked if he thought I made him out to be the bad guy. He said yes. I told him I tried as hard as I could to be brutally honest with what I do as well. This doesn't work if I don't examine my own actions. Not sure he believed me.

Feeling a little better now. It's something about writing, and knowing that people read and care. It always helps.

H just said he was sorry. That helps, too. Validate, validate...my turn later...

Anyway, will post details tomorrow of the fight, so I can figure what I need to do to handle things better.

Hey...at least I've learned how to repair things after the fight.

[color:"purple"]Nevanna[/color]