Your post truly moved me. I am humbled by your willingness to wrestle through such personal searching during this difficult time to be baptized. Your presence enriches the faith. Welcome!
I am so sorry about the ongoing disconnect between your W and you. Yet, it may be that she was and will be affected by this leap of faith by you. Her surprising attendance was big of her, and I imagine, it likely was hard on her as well. Maybe thank her for doing what she did (attend), noting that it meant a lot to you (if it did) and leave it at that. Small babysteps toward peace, leading eventually to friendship if this is to be. You'll like need to lead the way, as you seem to be the stronger of the two.
I'm glad you feel washed clean. Hopefully, there is less resentment on both sides to allow the air to clear and the two of you to see each other as God intends, in due time.
I'm so happy for you, Merrick. I thought of you and prayed for you on Saturday, and I'm glad you are still enjoying the event.
