Quote: It's snowing outside and I can't believe that in less than a month I'll be sitting in Yankee Stadium again--assuming W doesn't get 1/2 of my seats!
Today, I made my debut in court. The fun part started with having to give my L a $7,000 check since I just about used up the first $5,000. Between W and I, we're now at about $20-25k on legal fees. But this is still below the costs we would have incurred if we lived separately--so I'm not choking yet dollar wise.
To add further humor, after I learned my L was running a little late and was somewhat anxious about that, as I was walking to the courthouse, a truck rolled past through a big puddle and --you guessed it--all over me!!!! I called TKKC1 and he talked me off the ledge and reminded me to remain calm and act with grace.
When i got there, I had my first chance to meet W's barricud--I mean lawyer. I was very pleasant.
The anteroom for people awaiting to be called by their judge is a truly a pathetic sight--a human relationship wrecking shop. You can tell all the DB personality types from the aggressive and cocky WAS to the bewildered/and or bitter looking LBS to the very happy and matter fact lawyers. The most awkward moments occur when the L's decide to powwow apart and leave the spouses behind together. My W looked like she was going to cry and I just wanted to hug her and comfort her (and ask what was going through her mind--was it all worth it?), but I decided to let sleeping dogs lie.
As for the legal proceedings, I'm really not comfortable saying too much other than to say that my trial should be some time in May. I will say that when we met in front of the judge, her L pursued some EXTREMELY aggreesive positions that were quite sobering in terms of my W's legal posture. But I also think my L handled it well and I was very pleased with her.
NOTE TO OTHERS: It's a fine between DBing and protecting your rights, but if you feel your S has hired a hardball L, sad as it is, you better be preared to have an aggressive one of your own (with your parameters) because with a WAS--it seems like they have no problem letting their L's be the bad guys. And if you're going to be divorced, no sense being roadkill too!
For a good part of my time there, I just prayed. My baptism is coming up on Saturday and I was not going to allow even this type of event to interfere with my spiritual quest. Actually, I felt like I was one of the most peaceful persons in the room--and with just that, I knew the Lord was with me.
After it all, it was back to our house--and while W was silent early, later, she acted with that rare glimpse of cordiality that is so lacking in our R compared to the constant anger she displays. I'll just accept the moment.
She is out tonight at a local event. Alcohol will be present as well as original OM, so it will be intersting to see when she gets home.
Whatever she does, I went to to Church today and the closing hymn was Let There be Peace on Earth. The first line is the title line, followed by "And let it begin with me." I couldn't say it any better.
Quote: I went to to Church today and the closing hymn was Let There be Peace on Earth. The first line is the title line, followed by "And let it begin with me." I couldn't say it any better.
We haven't sung that one in a few weeks, but it's been running through my head a lot lately.
I'll be thinking of you and praying for you and your family as we head into the Triduum.
Prayers,
K
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
Thanks for all the well wishes--and from those off-line as well!
It is done. I had my baptism, confirmation, and first communion at Saturday night's Easter Vigil. It was a wonderful Mass, but it wasn't at Baptism that it all hit me--it was after we changed out of wet clothes into my suit and was draped with a white robe to march down the aisle that I felt total purity in every fiber of my body. I'm still at a high level of peace.
After literally negotiating with W through a nun on how our kids would attend, W attneded herself with the kids, but someone remarked later that she seemed angry. That was true--and sad. In fact, I had two Catholic families that were very close to us travel several hours to surprise me with their presence. Although W was also very close to both families--and I mean among our closest friends--she barely said a word to them and stayed upstairs in the main church waiting for our kids while a post mass reception was held in the Church basement. The ongoing disunity beyond our own M is really something sad to behold--but it's out of my hands.
I do confess that the feeling only 1/2 hour after baptism is quite different than the feeling before. My love for Christ is deeper than I could ever imagine--and as the prayer goes, I hope that I may be worthy of His promises. Peace to all.
Your post truly moved me. I am humbled by your willingness to wrestle through such personal searching during this difficult time to be baptized. Your presence enriches the faith. Welcome!
I am so sorry about the ongoing disconnect between your W and you. Yet, it may be that she was and will be affected by this leap of faith by you. Her surprising attendance was big of her, and I imagine, it likely was hard on her as well. Maybe thank her for doing what she did (attend), noting that it meant a lot to you (if it did) and leave it at that. Small babysteps toward peace, leading eventually to friendship if this is to be. You'll like need to lead the way, as you seem to be the stronger of the two.
I'm glad you feel washed clean. Hopefully, there is less resentment on both sides to allow the air to clear and the two of you to see each other as God intends, in due time.
I'm so happy for you, Merrick. I thought of you and prayed for you on Saturday, and I'm glad you are still enjoying the event.
Howdy Merrick, from one of your faithful fellow Catholic lurkers! I wanted you to know that I said a silent prayer for you at Saturday night's Mass. I was there as the godparents for my niece, who was finally baptized at 8 years old. It was a moving service, though this particular priest was not as reverent as I prefer.
It sounds like you took the high road and let your wife dig her hole a little deeper. Too bad that she continues to make such poor choices.
At any rate, I wanted to extend my congrats and prayers to you on the beginning of your spiritual journey.
Did you feel all our prayers? D11 and I said a prayer for you at dinner (knowing you're 2 hours ahead of us) and were hoping that your ceremony was as special as you posted. We prayed that your W would have a change of heart, but I guess she didn't want to see the signs that were right in front of her--the fact that her H of nearly 15 years was converting to her faith and being a loyal member of the faith family; to see the joy around him as he did so; to visibly see the proof of love and support from long time friends. It's really sad that she wasn't moved the way she should have been moved.
I swear to all of you if it were Mr. W. who was converting for me and our family, I'd be a ball of tears and a real mess.
But I'm happy to say that I'm not a mess--just happy for you! BTW, D11 wants to know when you're going to enter the confessional for the first time?
I'm really glad you checked in. I've been thinking of you!
Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Bets